We are told, consistently and confidently, that exercise is good for our mental health. And it IS. The research is solid, the benefits are real. Movement genuinely can be one of the most effective tools we have for regulating our nervous system, lifting our mood, and feeling more at home in our bodies. There’s a chemical change and a sensory, body awareness change.

But our relationship with exercise can become complicated.

Because something that is less talked about - but in my opinion should be — is where those benefits to our mental health tip.

And when what started as something that was helpful can begin to feel less like a choice and more like a demand, less like a relief and more like a requirement.

Something that I hear a lot is this particular kind of bewilderment people that share with me about habitually eating beyond fullness or binging to the point of physical pain. It’s not so much the discomfort of it that bothers them when they talk about it, but it’s more the confusion as to ‘why did I do that again?’ and ‘why do I keep doing it?’ 

Whether its outwardly said or not, it so often comes with a belief that something about them is wrong, broken or not trying hard enough and if they could just find more willpower or the right plan then it wouldn't happen again.

I’m a firm believer that none of the patterns we repeatedly play out are just ‘bad habits’ or signs of ‘not coping’, but actually have, or have had, some kind of positive intention behind them. It might seem difficult to see that when we logically know what we are doing isn’t ultimately working for us, but understanding what's happening at a less conscious level can change how we relate to the behaviour and that offers us more choice.

If you struggle with binge eating, you may feel like it makes no sense, and yet it continues to happen.

You might find yourself thinking about food constantly, promising yourself you won’t binge again, and then it’s as though something takes over and you find yourself binging again. The aftermath may come with difficult emotions - shame, guilt, frustration, remorse - and also confusion about why it keeps happening. They may turn into resolve that it won’t happen again… and yet….

What many people don’t realise is that binge eating follows a very predictable sequence of brain and emotional states. It isn’t random, and it isn’t a failure of willpower. Understanding this cycle and why it happens can be a relief in itself. It can also help you respond to urges with more awareness and self compassion.

When I thought about how to start this blog, I realised that the most obvious place is with the two questions I most often get asked:

• What is normal eating?

• What’s the difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder?

At first, these questions might seem simple, but the truth is that there isn’t a clear-cut answer. Eating behaviours exist on a continuum, and they can shift over time—sometimes gradually, sometimes more noticeably. It’s possible for someone to move from what might be considered ‘normal eating’ to disordered eating, and sometimes, unfortunately, to a diagnosed eating disorder. Equally, someone who has experienced an eating disorder can, with the right support, move toward a balanced and fulfilling relationship with food.

When recovering from an eating disorder, abstinence isn’t a solution. The very thing that is causing distress in one way or another — food — needs to be consumed in order to recover. There’s something so very obvious about this, yet it is still not fully appreciated by those who have never experienced an eating disorder.

Unlike many other conditions, recovery cannot be achieved by removing the trigger. We cannot step away from food, avoid it indefinitely, or “cut it out” while we heal. Food is essential for life. And so the very place where the eating disorder lives is also the place where recovery must happen.

I believe that finding a way through difficulties with food is both one of the deepest conflicts of eating disorder recovery and also its greatest gift. We have to eat to be well. And so, in order to recover — and to truly be well — we need to engage with the very thing that has felt unsafe, overwhelming, or unbearable. People do recover from eating disorders, and go on to have a healthy, relaxed, enjoyable relationship with food that causes them no distress whatsoever. So it is possible.

Within sport and fitness I’ve experienced eating disorders from multiple positions. I’ve been a coached athlete with an active eating disorder, from which I have subsequently fully recovered. I’ve been a coach and personal trainer with clients who’ve confided about having an eating disorder, and now I’m an eating disorder therapist supporting athletes and fitness professionals.

I also provide CPD on eating disorders to coaches and have gotten to know their worries and concerns alongside their desire to understand and know how to best support their athletes.

I’ve been reflecting recently on what I’ve learned from this multi-layered perspective that I couldn’t necessarily have seen from one role alone.

Here are my reflections…..