Something that I hear a lot is this particular kind of bewilderment people that share with me about habitually eating beyond fullness or binging to the point of physical pain. It’s not so much the discomfort of it that bothers them when they talk about it, but it’s more the confusion as to ‘why did I do that again?’ and ‘why do I keep doing it?’ 

Whether its outwardly said or not, it so often comes with a belief that something about them is wrong, broken or not trying hard enough and if they could just find more willpower or the right plan then it wouldn't happen again.

I’m a firm believer that none of the patterns we repeatedly play out are just ‘bad habits’ or signs of ‘not coping’, but actually have, or have had, some kind of positive intention behind them. It might seem difficult to see that when we logically know what we are doing isn’t ultimately working for us, but understanding what's happening at a less conscious level can change how we relate to the behaviour and that offers us more choice.

If you struggle with binge eating, you may feel like it makes no sense, and yet it continues to happen.

You might find yourself thinking about food constantly, promising yourself you won’t binge again, and then it’s as though something takes over and you find yourself binging again. The aftermath may come with difficult emotions - shame, guilt, frustration, remorse - and also confusion about why it keeps happening. They may turn into resolve that it won’t happen again… and yet….

What many people don’t realise is that binge eating follows a very predictable sequence of brain and emotional states. It isn’t random, and it isn’t a failure of willpower. Understanding this cycle and why it happens can be a relief in itself. It can also help you respond to urges with more awareness and self compassion.