When we talk about becoming ourself, we tend to focus on what we are gaining: more confidence, better boundaries, greater self-awareness, increased authenticity. I often feel that this comes with an assumption of expansion and maybe also ease. 

Yes, I would say that this is true. But. What we tend not to also talk about is where personal growth can come with friction and grief.  And that this is a necessary part of the process….

These two word DO often get confused. I don’t mean that I see definitions, spellings or context getting mixed up. What I do see though is people assuming that one directly relates to what it means about the other - and what that then means about themself. Followed by a self-criticism (said out loud or otherwise) that is both unfair, and inaccurate.

There is a big difference between capability and capacity. And there are also other systems at play which directly add to the self critical narrative and our responses to them……..

…….before you conclude that you're not capable, pause and consider whether capacity might be the real issue.

You may be more capable than you've been giving yourself credit for.